San Rafael Pacifics Mascot, Sir Francis the Drake, Tests Positive for Performance Enhancing Yeast
August 24, 2012 - North American League (NAmL)
San Rafael Pacifics News Release
SAN RAFAEL, Calif. (Aug. 24, 2012) - The San Rafael Pacifics mascot, Sir Francis The Drake, has tested positive for performance-enhancing yeast, and is facing a possible suspension, pending an appeal, the team announced Friday.
The substance, which can occur organically in stale bread found in old people's freezers, typically exists in a synthetic form found in a last bite of a Cinnabon. It is known to enhance head size and costume growth, hasten the repair of muscle strain and prolong on-field dance routines. For decades, the medical community has acknowledged the effectiveness of the substance in building muscle and improving mascot performance. Side effects can include mood and whiffle-ball bat swings, floppy stirrups and dilated pupils.
The Drake's agent issued the following statement:
" There are highly unusual circumstances surrounding this case which will support Sir Francis' complete innocence and demonstrate there was absolutely no intentional violation of the mascot drug program. While Sir Francis has impeccable character and no previous history, unfortunately, because of the process we have to maintain confidentiality and are not able to discuss it any further, but we are confident he will ultimately be exonerated."
The Pacifics declined to comment on specifics of the failed test, but team President and General Manager, Mike Shapiro, said the team would "stand by the ruling of the arbiter," and that the organization "hopes Sir Francis can prove his innocence."
Mascot Union Rep, Vance Livestraung, declined to comment.
Sir Francis will be performing during the Pacifics final three home games while his appeal is heard.
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