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Ferris Bueller's Day Off

August 5, 2013 - Southern League (SL1)
Huntsville Stars News Release


Stars fans, we are searching for a boss who wants to reward one of his or her top employees!

On Wednesday, August 21st, the Huntsville Stars will host the Pensacola Blue Wahoos for a 1:03 pm game. Gates will open at noon. Because this is a rare daytime game, we are making an offer to all supervisors, managers, etc., out there. We want to reward one person who really deserves day off from work and we need your help. You select that one employee who makes your life bearable at work, you know the one, never forgets your birthday, bails you out when you screw up, takes the fall when you're wrong in a staff meeting. Then we do all the work.

Here's what's at stake:

1-A Stars staff member will arrive at your workplace on the morning of Wednesday, August 21st.

2-We will inform your employee that he or she has the day off from work courtesy of you. He or she will be led to the car where he or she will have a couple moments to make some phone calls because two additional people will be joining us. These two individuals will have to find their own excuses to get out of whatever they had planned as quickly as possible because our staff member will then drive to pick them up.

3-Once the winner and his or her two friends are in the car our staff member will escort them to the Huntsville Museum of Art to enjoy the works, just as Ferris, Cameron, and Sloane did. Hey, we have culture, it's cool! This is a real day of seeing everything.

4-Then it's off to Cotton Row restaurant downtown where there will be a reservation for Abe Froman, the sausage King of Huntsville. The winner, his two guests, and our staff member will enjoy a fantastic lunch courtesy of Chef James Boyce and the good folks at Cotton Row. If you've dined at Cotton Row, you know it's definitely worthy of a day off dining experience!

5-From there it's off to the stadium to throw out the game's honorary first pitch and enjoy an afternoon game sitting in the cheap seats. Sah-WING battah, battah, sah-WING-ah! Maybe even catch a foul ball.

6-Then, the details are still being worked out on this last point, but if we can pull it off the winner will be driven around the courthouse square on a trailer with a karaoke machine or boom box singing Twist and Shout with the female staff members of our staff as your dancers. There might be a noise ordinance fine to pay when this is all said and done, but it'll worth it. Go ahead, sing along with us..."Shake it up, BAY-bee, twist and shout..."

7-Then everybody gets dropped off back at their respective workplaces or residences and calls it a day knowing that they'll never be able to explain this work day to their spouses or significant others because they selected their friends to go, not their spouses.

8-Everybody gets to go into work the next day and brag about their Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

If you have an employee that really deserves a day off from work, return this email with the following information:

Employee's Name:

Your Name:

Your Telephone Number:

Your Email Address:

My employee deserves the a Ferris Bueller's Day Off because: (describe his or her worthiness in 100 words or less)

The winning employer (you) will be contacted next week so make sure we have a good day time phone number for you to help set everything up.

If you still can't think of one employee worthy of this, let's just flashback to Ben Stein's role and his famous quote: "In 1930, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, in an effort to alleviate the effects of the... Anyone? Anyone?... the Great Depression, passed the... Anyone? Anyone? The tariff bill? The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act? Which, anyone? Raised or lowered?...raised tariffs, in an effort to collect more revenue for the federal government. Did it work? Anyone? Anyone know the effects? It did not work, and the United States sank deeper into the Great Depression. Today we have a similar debate over this. Anyone know what this is? Class? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone seen this before? The Laffer Curve. Anyone know what this says? It says that at this point on the revenue curve, you will get exactly the same amount of revenue as at this point. This is very controversial. Does anyone know what Vice President Bush called this in 1980? Anyone? Something-d-o-o economics. Voodoo economics."

That quote is essentially what your employee hears every day at work. Now select that one person that needs a reprieve.

Now a message to the employees out there...if you think that YOU'RE worthy of this reward and know that your boss will never see this email, I would suggest sending it anonymously to your boss from a fake gmail account and dropping some subtle hints.

The bottom line, somebody and his or two best buds are going to have a heckuva day skipping work (or school, for you college students); it might as well be you and your two buds.

Just remember, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Rock On!



Southern League Stories from August 5, 2013


The opinions expressed in this release are those of the organization issuing it, and do not necessarily reflect the thoughts or opinions of OurSports Central or its staff.

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