April 28, 2017 - Pacific Association (PA) - San Rafael Pacifics
Date of Alternative Facts Night Changed
Millions Flood Pacifics Servers Demanding July 1st Date
San Rafael, CA - The highly praised, best event ever, "Alternative Facts Night", was scheduled was originally scheduled when the Pacifics host the Pittsburg Diamonds at 5:05 P.M on August 4th at Albert park in San Rafael. Today the Pacifics announced that millions of paid protesters jammed the Pacifics switchboard and private email servers to demand the event be staged on July 1st instead.
Protesters are demanding the date change in reaction to the revelation that the original August 4th date falls on former President Obama's birthday and is part of a totally biased effort to promote the fake news that he was actually born.
"It is sad and very dishonest for paid protesters to spread such vicious lies," Pacifics media czar Greg Mroz said. "We're going to change the date to July 1st because it proves how great we are. Very unfair."
Current plans for this amazing, super event include the following:
- All fans in attendance will receive as a giveaway a limited-edition Kyrie Irving Globe (suitable for hanging on your wall or The Border Wall)
- One lucky fan will win a U.S. Government surveillance device. Device in addition can also cook popcorn and reheat all of your favorite leftover meals.
Some not fake facts for Alternative Facts Night include:
- From 3 to 5 million people have already purchased tickets for the game but seats in the 1,000-seat capacity historic ballpark are still available. Mexico has agreed to pay for a new grandstand structure
- The game will feature a "Salute to Russian Democracy". The Russian President has agreed to participate in (and will win) the mascot race (unopposed)!
- The team's online ticketing system requires fans to scan their birth certificates before a ticket can be issued. Anyone with a Hawaiian birth certificate will be refused admission
For tickets and more information please contact the Pacifics at pacificsbaseball.com or call the Pacifics at 415-485-1563.