RMc
09-22-2004, 03:01 PM
Do you think there are too many minor leagues in pro basketball?
DAMN RIGHT there are!
Do you think they should all merge into one huge league?
DAMN RIGHT they should!
So, here it is...the DAMN RIGHT BASKETBALL LEAGUE!
Herman "Little Wilt" Chamberlain, just one of the estimated 20,000 illegitimate children of basketball great Wilt Chamberlain, will serve as the commissioner of the DRBL, which will feature no fewer than 84 teams...all previously from the CBA, USBL, EBL, WBA, NBDL and God knows where else.
The divison set-up is as follows:
ATLANTIC CONFERENCE
----------------------------
CAROLINA DIVISON
Asheville Altitude
Carolina Thunder
Fayetteville Patriots
Florence Flyers
Greenville Greenjackets
North Carolina Renegades
Raleigh Knights
EASTERN DIVISION
Bristol Crusaders
Delaware Destroyers
Kentucky Colonels
Maryland NightHawks
Nashville Rhythm
New Jersey Jaguars
Roanoke Dazzle
EMPIRE DIVISION
Adirondack Wildcats
Boston Frenzy
Brooklyn Blazekings
Buffalo Bravos
Harlem Hammer
New York Pride
Westchester Wildfire
PENN-OHIO DIVISION
Harrisburg Horizon
Pennsylvania ValleyDawgs
Philadelphia Fusion
Pittsburgh Hardhats
Schuylkill Firedogs
Toledo Ice
Wilkes-Barre Blast
SOUTHEAST DIVISON
Arkansas RimRockers
Atlanta Reigning Knights
Columbus Riverdragons
Gwinnett Gwizzlies
Huntsville Flight
Rome Gladiators
Southern Crescent Lightning
SUNSHINE DIVISION
Brevard Blue Ducks
Florida Flame
Jacksonville Wave
Macon Blaze
Miami Floridians
Pensacola Aviators
Tampa Bay Windjammers
PACIFIC CONFERENCE
--------------------------
CENTRAL DIVISON
Dodge City Legend
Kansas Cagerz
Kansas City Knights
Oklahoma City Ballhawgs
Oklahoma Storm
St. Joseph Express
St. Louis Rottweilers
FAR WEST DIVSION
Fresno Heat Wave
Las Vegas Rattlers
Long Beach Jam
Los Angeles Stars
Ontario Warriors
Orange County Crush
Reno Rockers
GREAT LAKES DIVSION
Chicago Soldiers
Gary Steelheads
Grand Rapids Hoops
Great Lakes Storm
Michigan Mayhem
Motown Jammers
Rockford Lightning
NORTHWEST DIVSION
Bellevue BlackNightHawks
Calgary Drillers
Everett Edge
Idaho Stampede
Portland Reign
Vancouver Vipers
Yakima Sun Kings
TEX-MEX DIVSION
Hermosillo Seris
Jackson Rage
Juarez Gallos
Mississippi Stingers
San Antonio Stallions
Texas Tycoons
Tijuana Dragons
DIVISION USA
Cedar Rapids River Raiders
Cincinnati Blaze
Colorado Springs Storm
Dakota Wizards
Native America
Sioux Falls Skyforce
Utah Snowbears
Chamberlain was evasive when asked if all 84 franchises will begin the 2004-05 season, which will begin sooner than you think. "We're still hiring coaches, players, ballgirls, janitors, prostitutes, general managers, drug smugglers, scorekeepers and PR men. It's a good thing I've got plenty of half-brothers and sisters."
Indeed, the entire DRBL front office consists of Wilt's bastard progeny, including league vice president Sally "Little Wilta" Chamberlain. "We want to give the basketball fans of America something new and different," said Sally Chamberlain. "Everyone who goes to a DRBL game will go home happy, whether they want to or not!"
DRBL games will be carried by ESPN8 ("The Ocho"), which will drop its well-received dodgeball coverage to carry all 3,360 DRBL contests. "Now, no matter where you are in this country," says league broadcasting director Bobby "Little Wilt" Chamberlain, "you can catch that big Toledo vs. Native America match-up LIVE!"
Another innovation will be the DRBL playoffs: "Instead of an endless array of best-of-seven series, like in the NBA," says one of those guys named Chamberlain, "the top team in each division will head to DRBL league headquarters in Ypsilanti, Michigan and play three-on-three games in my driveway. Winners move on, losers buy the beer!"
The DRBL: Because you can't possibly get enough minor-league basketball!
DAMN RIGHT there are!
Do you think they should all merge into one huge league?
DAMN RIGHT they should!
So, here it is...the DAMN RIGHT BASKETBALL LEAGUE!
Herman "Little Wilt" Chamberlain, just one of the estimated 20,000 illegitimate children of basketball great Wilt Chamberlain, will serve as the commissioner of the DRBL, which will feature no fewer than 84 teams...all previously from the CBA, USBL, EBL, WBA, NBDL and God knows where else.
The divison set-up is as follows:
ATLANTIC CONFERENCE
----------------------------
CAROLINA DIVISON
Asheville Altitude
Carolina Thunder
Fayetteville Patriots
Florence Flyers
Greenville Greenjackets
North Carolina Renegades
Raleigh Knights
EASTERN DIVISION
Bristol Crusaders
Delaware Destroyers
Kentucky Colonels
Maryland NightHawks
Nashville Rhythm
New Jersey Jaguars
Roanoke Dazzle
EMPIRE DIVISION
Adirondack Wildcats
Boston Frenzy
Brooklyn Blazekings
Buffalo Bravos
Harlem Hammer
New York Pride
Westchester Wildfire
PENN-OHIO DIVISION
Harrisburg Horizon
Pennsylvania ValleyDawgs
Philadelphia Fusion
Pittsburgh Hardhats
Schuylkill Firedogs
Toledo Ice
Wilkes-Barre Blast
SOUTHEAST DIVISON
Arkansas RimRockers
Atlanta Reigning Knights
Columbus Riverdragons
Gwinnett Gwizzlies
Huntsville Flight
Rome Gladiators
Southern Crescent Lightning
SUNSHINE DIVISION
Brevard Blue Ducks
Florida Flame
Jacksonville Wave
Macon Blaze
Miami Floridians
Pensacola Aviators
Tampa Bay Windjammers
PACIFIC CONFERENCE
--------------------------
CENTRAL DIVISON
Dodge City Legend
Kansas Cagerz
Kansas City Knights
Oklahoma City Ballhawgs
Oklahoma Storm
St. Joseph Express
St. Louis Rottweilers
FAR WEST DIVSION
Fresno Heat Wave
Las Vegas Rattlers
Long Beach Jam
Los Angeles Stars
Ontario Warriors
Orange County Crush
Reno Rockers
GREAT LAKES DIVSION
Chicago Soldiers
Gary Steelheads
Grand Rapids Hoops
Great Lakes Storm
Michigan Mayhem
Motown Jammers
Rockford Lightning
NORTHWEST DIVSION
Bellevue BlackNightHawks
Calgary Drillers
Everett Edge
Idaho Stampede
Portland Reign
Vancouver Vipers
Yakima Sun Kings
TEX-MEX DIVSION
Hermosillo Seris
Jackson Rage
Juarez Gallos
Mississippi Stingers
San Antonio Stallions
Texas Tycoons
Tijuana Dragons
DIVISION USA
Cedar Rapids River Raiders
Cincinnati Blaze
Colorado Springs Storm
Dakota Wizards
Native America
Sioux Falls Skyforce
Utah Snowbears
Chamberlain was evasive when asked if all 84 franchises will begin the 2004-05 season, which will begin sooner than you think. "We're still hiring coaches, players, ballgirls, janitors, prostitutes, general managers, drug smugglers, scorekeepers and PR men. It's a good thing I've got plenty of half-brothers and sisters."
Indeed, the entire DRBL front office consists of Wilt's bastard progeny, including league vice president Sally "Little Wilta" Chamberlain. "We want to give the basketball fans of America something new and different," said Sally Chamberlain. "Everyone who goes to a DRBL game will go home happy, whether they want to or not!"
DRBL games will be carried by ESPN8 ("The Ocho"), which will drop its well-received dodgeball coverage to carry all 3,360 DRBL contests. "Now, no matter where you are in this country," says league broadcasting director Bobby "Little Wilt" Chamberlain, "you can catch that big Toledo vs. Native America match-up LIVE!"
Another innovation will be the DRBL playoffs: "Instead of an endless array of best-of-seven series, like in the NBA," says one of those guys named Chamberlain, "the top team in each division will head to DRBL league headquarters in Ypsilanti, Michigan and play three-on-three games in my driveway. Winners move on, losers buy the beer!"
The DRBL: Because you can't possibly get enough minor-league basketball!