Phony ask the CEO

[tops804]

I know some of you guys out there want to have some fun with this...

Question from J.J. & Others, In Jacksonville, Flordia.

Dear Mr. Newman,
What to you think about the Jam leaving the A.B.A. at this late time? How
do you feel about these other mean-spirited leagues stealing your franchises?

[Fells]

I know some of you guys out there want to have some fun with this...

Question from J.J. & Others, In Jacksonville, Flordia.

Dear Mr. Newman,
What to you think about the Jam leaving the A.B.A. at this late time? How
do you feel about these other mean-spirited leagues stealing your franchises?

They are a bunch of cruel hearted, mean spirited savages that I hope drown in a sea of Egg McMuffins!! In fact, if they were Egg McMuffins, which I had nine of just this morning, they would be REJECTED. Their eggs would be spoiled, the cheese would be moldy, and the English Muffin would be as hard as the heads of the PBL who savagely stole the Jam from underneath the mighty ABA!!

No where will they find a league that is as fan friendly and affordable as we are!! The PBL are a bunch of thieves who just want to steal my franchises that I work so hard to keep. In fact, I just recruited five more suckers...I mean highly reputable teams whose check cleared, that will make the ABA the most fan friendly and affordable league in the country. The NBA can't hold a candle to us because we are better!! A team of ABA all-stars could kick the Egg McMuffins out of Kobe, LeBron and the other overpaid clowns in that excuse for a league.

Now, for a prozac and Jack cocktail.........

[Paul S]

On Planet Newman anythings possible. Simply anything.

Joe 'Magpie' Newman (nickname found on wikipedia in the history section) will launch into some song and dance about how its great that Lowes competes with Home Depot and Mcdonalds will compete with Burger King but GOD FORBID if one of them decide to poach an employee or worse, the owner of a franchise.

Hey Joe. I'm gonna give you some free honest advice. Retire. You are 70+ years old. Go take some of those 10k checks and go to Sarasota, golf, drive a 4x4 Cadillac all over town from one all-you-can eat seniors buffet to the next, watch a movie, read a book, garden and then drink a Margarita. You are great at getting people to attend your parties but the worst party host of all time. Let your step-son run this circus and spend some time with Connie. You'll thank me one day.

[bomp]

Hey Joe. I'm gonna give you some free honest advice. Retire. You are 70+ years old. Go take some of those 10k checks and go to Sarasota, golf, drive a 4x4 Cadillac all over town from one all-you-can eat seniors buffet to the next, watch a movie, read a book, garden and then drink a Margarita. You are great at getting people to attend your parties but the worst party host of all time. Let your step-son run this circus and spend some time with Connie. You'll thank me one day.

Paul:

Don't forget the white shoes in Florida. They are important!!

Give 'Brad the Tool' a chance. :D

[Paul S]

Good thinking Bomp. 10k can go a long way in Florida.

White shoes
socks to worn as high as possible
Khaki or gaudy colored shorts (must be worn far to high up along the gut)
no belt
polo shirt tucked in to reveal shorts riding North of belly button
sunglasses
trilby hat or fedora
cigar
Cadillac that makes an odd squealing/screeching noise on u-turns


Here cometh Joe!!!!!!!!!! Straight down to the Robarts arena on University Ave in Sarasota. "Hi Joe Newman here, say I invented the ABA and have just moved into town, this would be a great arena for ..................."

He'll never stop.

[SignGuyDino]

You guys are slacking. No TV deal reference? Come on now...

[bomp]

You guys are slacking. No TV deal reference? Come on now...

No TV. I didn't forget about it.

Not in the budget because we will need a new rug. "I make well into six figures but I won't go for plugs!" We have our priorities, you know.

[nksports]

Dear ABA CEO,
Now that the ABA stock is selling at four cents a share, what else should I invest in when I sell my 250,000 shares.
Mr. Richard Fader,
Fort Lee, N.J.

Well Mr. Fader, your stock sale should net you $10,000, which would give you enough for a a market reservation in our fan friendly, family affordable league. Soon, you'll be driving a Caddy with all the profits from your franchise.

[tops804]

....I'm sure Joe is busy in the basement writing a "Joe asks Joe" CEO column
for Monday...

Question: From many
Dear Mr. Newman,
Congratulations on the VRCA deal, I'm sure that they are very pleased to be
involved with such a fine organization as yours...When are the concerts
going to start? Is the price included with the game? Is PlayOn {A division
of Turner sports (tm)} going to air them?

Assume fact that now, Playon and VRCA are supposed to
be TRULY AMAZED at the faster then fast response of the A.B.A.
fans!!! Not to mention "suspect" fans who believe the A.B.A. is nothing
more then a scam.

>Now Joe can put his Wal-mart vs. Target, and fan friendly response down
here, not to mention "I wasn't going to answer so quickly." and "But do to
the overwhelming response." and "It looks like its going to be an exciting
season..."<

Heaven forbid he ask himself why the schedule isn't finished yet when the
season is 5 days from starting!!!

[nksports]

Go take some of those 10k checks and go to Sarasota, golf, drive a 4x4 Cadillac all over town from one all-you-can eat seniors buffet to the next, watch a movie, read a book, garden and then drink a Margarita.

He's got $2 million from the reverse merger that's floating around somewhere (a numbered bank account in the caribbean?). BTW, the guys who gave the money to Joe want it back. (Just like he told his nephew, and the sex offender who bought franchises, NO REFUNDS.)

[barkley34]

Hey Joe. I'm gonna give you some free honest advice. Retire. You are 70+ years old. Go take some of those 10k checks and go to Sarasota, golf, drive a 4x4 Cadillac all over town from one all-you-can eat seniors buffet to the next, watch a movie, read a book, garden and then drink a Margarita..

That is going be VERY tough. Joe knows ( he has seen the paper work and court motions) as we all do that by the end of this year he will be indicted for securities fraud and a wide variety of other violations and that the chances of him NOT going to prison and paying huge fines are remote. This is no joke, that is reality. The investigation into this matter has been going on for more than 3 months now. There is no way in Haiti he is with the ABA next season, and it will VERY surprising if it/he see the end of THIS season.