Chuck the Writer
09-21-2007, 08:20 AM
After shocking the basketball world with their brazen announcement of Bobos footwear as the Utica Wreckers' official sneaker, the team has announced that the players will also wear comfortable hosiery during the game, as the vintage Hanes brand L'Eggs has been announced as the official socks of the Utica Wreckers.
http://www.lostwackys.com/images/products/L'eggs.jpg
"I was walking through the Salvation Army Thrift Store in Utica last week," said ABA spokesperson Abia Ausichser, "when I came across a row of old chicken eggs made of plastic - but much larger than regular chicken eggs, mind you. I thought wow, I could buy a few of these and make one heck of an omelet - but when I opened one, I found this pair of panty hose inside!"
After further research, Ausichser announced that the team has bought every pair of L'Eggs in the entire Mohawk Valley, having visited every thrift store, flea market, yard sale, church bazaar and arts & crafts store (which, for some reason, had plenty of the plastic eggs, but none of the stockings inside). "Barring a few pair of L'Eggs that had some runs in them, we feel that we have enough of the luxury stockings to outfit the entire Wreckers team," said Ausichser.
The Wreckers team has been uniform in their support for the stockings.
"I put on a pair of L'Eggs yesterday before practice," said reserve forward Mark "The Scew" McSechlure, "and not only do they allow me to jump higher, they make my legs look smooth and silky."
"You got any of these in a control top?" asked starting forward Schultz Dooley. "Not for me, but for Mrs. Dooley. She's got a gut on her..."
"I could use a pair of these Silken Mist thigh-highs," said Wreckers newcomer Valerio "V.D." Dawson. "In case I ever 'break out' for a steal and a slam, my ladies can say, 'ooh baby, our L'eggs fit his legs, they hug him, they hold him, they'll never let go...'"
"Can I get a pair of purple ones," said 10-year-old small forward Purlie Scarvin. "I want to get on the court and look like Kobe Bryant from a year or so ago."
Having secured the use of Bobos sneakers and L'Eggs hosiery, the Wreckers are going to be the team to beat - "We're gonna have sheer energy," said Ausichser, "and our feet will feel fine!"
More to follow...
http://www.lostwackys.com/images/products/L'eggs.jpg
"I was walking through the Salvation Army Thrift Store in Utica last week," said ABA spokesperson Abia Ausichser, "when I came across a row of old chicken eggs made of plastic - but much larger than regular chicken eggs, mind you. I thought wow, I could buy a few of these and make one heck of an omelet - but when I opened one, I found this pair of panty hose inside!"
After further research, Ausichser announced that the team has bought every pair of L'Eggs in the entire Mohawk Valley, having visited every thrift store, flea market, yard sale, church bazaar and arts & crafts store (which, for some reason, had plenty of the plastic eggs, but none of the stockings inside). "Barring a few pair of L'Eggs that had some runs in them, we feel that we have enough of the luxury stockings to outfit the entire Wreckers team," said Ausichser.
The Wreckers team has been uniform in their support for the stockings.
"I put on a pair of L'Eggs yesterday before practice," said reserve forward Mark "The Scew" McSechlure, "and not only do they allow me to jump higher, they make my legs look smooth and silky."
"You got any of these in a control top?" asked starting forward Schultz Dooley. "Not for me, but for Mrs. Dooley. She's got a gut on her..."
"I could use a pair of these Silken Mist thigh-highs," said Wreckers newcomer Valerio "V.D." Dawson. "In case I ever 'break out' for a steal and a slam, my ladies can say, 'ooh baby, our L'eggs fit his legs, they hug him, they hold him, they'll never let go...'"
"Can I get a pair of purple ones," said 10-year-old small forward Purlie Scarvin. "I want to get on the court and look like Kobe Bryant from a year or so ago."
Having secured the use of Bobos sneakers and L'Eggs hosiery, the Wreckers are going to be the team to beat - "We're gonna have sheer energy," said Ausichser, "and our feet will feel fine!"
More to follow...