6 new ABA teams coming soon

[WHAFAN]

Newman will soon announce new ABA teams coming to American Samoa, Guam, Marianas Islands, Midway Islands, and Wake Island. Just like team Hawaii, he can cash their franchise checks, and there is 100% chance that these teams will never play. Thats the newest ABA trick..........put teams where no one can afford to travel , cash the checks, then suspend operations. I'm sure the first order of business for these new teams will be dance team tryouts. Thats seems to be the most important link within all teams. That along with minority ownership. Within our great country, where our goal is to be equal and ignore differences, Newman continues to make sure he plays the race card, making certain we all know he has minority owners. I'm also sure minorities just love being referred to as minorities. The only reason these ABA owners are minorities is that they segregate themselves from us by being stupid enough to hand Newman money. SHAMEFUL..........

[TheStandard]

why not add the U.S. Virgin Islands, Puerto Rico(GEE ABA CANT GO THERE. Your team has to be affiliated with the federation or USA Basketball and pay fed dues and to FIBA), the island of Diego Garcia

[aba_insider]

I have to assume you are adding exagerrated sarcasm to your post for effect?

The dance team line is simply not intelligent.

Teams have dance team tryouts early for the following, and obvious to a primate, reasons:

1) It is easy.
2) helps with local promotions and parades.
3) Players are more available in the fall. Those that have not signed are very motivated,a nd therefore you can find the best of your roster at that time.
4) Dancers are a dime a dozen and can be found in any city, many key components to your roster are in the IBL, Spring Leagues, or playing overseas.

It is simply stupid to continue to use that line as a knock on teams. Since I suppose the poster above is not stupid, I will guess it is exaggerrated sarcasm.

The ABA has plenty of things to knock it over, and the rest of your post speaks to potential failures by the league. Whymess up a logical argument with stupidity?

[Chuck the Writer]

Teams have dance team tryouts early for the following, and obvious to a primate, reasons:

1) It is easy.
2) helps with local promotions and parades.
3) Players are more available in the fall. Those that have not signed are very motivated,a nd therefore you can find the best of your roster at that time.
4) Dancers are a dime a dozen and can be found in any city, many key components to your roster are in the IBL, Spring Leagues, or playing overseas.


First off, dancers are not a "dime a dozen." It takes a major commitment to put together a dance or cheer team for a sports team. Dancers also need to be paid for their work. And costumes don't come cheap. Unless you want everyone out there in T-shirts and leotards.

Also, if you're expecting a dance team to "help with local promotions and parades," you better pay them - or allow them to use the basketball team resources to create their own products, such as a dance team calendar or autograph poster. Which also incurs a cost, as nobody's going to buy a calendar printed off someone's home inkjet printer.

But I guess that's part of the ABA mentality. As espoused by good ol' Crazy Joe.

[nksports]

From Joe Newman, CEO American Basketball Association:
"This is a very important announcement to owners and prospective owners in the American Basketball Association (ABKA.OB). I'd like to include you in the league's new program to help bring our brand of family friendly and affordable sports entertainment througout the world. From now on, I will no longer handle the market reservations for the ABA. You will. Market reservation fees are now $15,000. When you recruit an owner, you collect the $15,000 market reservation fee, and send me $10,000. That owner then collects a $15,000 market reservation fee, sends you $2,500 and sends me $10,000. That owner collects $15,000, sends the other owner $1,250, who sends you $2,500 and sends me $10,000. The more market reservation fees you owners collect, the more we all make. Soon, teams will not only be in every city in the nation, but the world. We also will accept market reservation fees in pounds, pesos, dracmas, sheckles, yen, juan, francs (french and swiss), Euros, rubles, whatever, as long as the league receives its $10,000 and you receive your share based on your level of participation. I look foward to your participation in our most successful season ever with an anticipated 386 teams.
Fair Harbor Disclosure Act: This statement reflects forward looking, and rather unattainable financial targets. You will probably go broke having anything to do with this, but of course it will be your own damn fault for not meeting the higest standards of ABA ownership."

[Paul S]

4) Dancers are a dime a dozen and can be found in any city, many key components to your roster are in the IBL, Spring Leagues, or playing overseas.[

No no no no no no.................the only thing dime a dozen are the ABA insane ideas club. Actually if you want to see real family fun entertainment throw the dime at a dozen owners and watch them scramble for the only profit they will ever see. The action will be family friendly and affordable sports entertainment seeing suckers scramble for a dime.

Its incredible that some credible teams, Strong Island, Cape Cod, Montreal, Bellingham etc continue to be associated with this debacle. I just don't understand who these suckers, these marks, these boobs, these financial midgets keep wandering up and plunking down 10K for an expansion team and then hope that the ticket money will come pouring in all whilst laboring ( or labouring in Canada) under the delusion that the opponent will even show up.

This league is a business professors dream of how not to get suckered into a crummy idea.

[Paul S]

The New ABA teams

American Somoa Chapter 7's
Guam Checkbouncers
Saipan Suckers
Virgin Islands Victims
Puerto Rico Living La Vida Broke-a
Yukon Homeless Prospectors
McMurdo Bankrupts
Honolulu Hard-ups
Marianas Islands Soup Kitchens
Point Roberts Penniless
Navasu Island Frozen Assets
Aleutian Illegal Aliens
Nunavut __________ (couldn't afford to register a name)
Wake Island Worthless
Diego Garcia Slumlords (our first franchise in the UK.)