ABA-hater
11-30-2006, 03:26 PM
This is pretty funny, it was in the newspaper today...
Plenty of reasons to watch the ’Hawks
After a month of taking in the American Basketball Association, I've witnessed the good, the bad and the ugly. Mixing them up, here are 10 reasons why you should go out and watch the Quad City RiverHawks.
-- No. 10 -- You're the scorekeeper! Not once this season has the scoreboard been correct for all 48 minutes of a game. In one of the games, the final score was 3 points off. Bring a pen and some paper and keep score. If they mess up, shout out the correct score. Several fans do. In fact, coaches have caught on, and stopped play to argue for points, even when they know the score's right. Hammond Rollers coach Kenny Battle argued for three more points in a four-point game for a couple of minutes before returning to his seat with, "Well, you gotta try." It was, indeed, a grand try.
-- No. 9 -- RiverHawkettes ... err, maybe not: The short-lived (5 games) career of the RiverHawks cheerleaders left a void in the last home game. Before the game, the referees had to walk to center court by themselves. Too bad, too, because the 'Hawkettes had just donned new uniforms with shiny belts the game before. And who's going to throw out the T-shirts and bags of potato chips (though those promotions were hit or miss most of the time)?
-- No. 8 -- Bone: He only goes by one name. The self-proclaimed "Voice of the RiverHawks" brings hilarious entertainment to a sometimes frustratingly slow game. It's the only game where you'll ever hear this on a long 3: "From somewhere near DeWitt, Iowa ..." or his infamous in-game chant of "DE-FENSE!! DE-FENSE!!"
-- No. 7 -- Lots of room to spread out: In half of the RiverHawks' games, there have been more points scored than fans in the stands. The Marycrest Activities Center bleachers give you the luxury of relaxing and not being confined to a traditional arena seat. There's never an obstructed view. Just don't sit behind anyone. It's easy.
-- No. 6 -- Above the Rim Club: The Pub came back to life as the Above the Rim Club, and offered domestic bottles for $2 on its first two nights (they’re now $3). That's OK though; it's still cheaper than The Mark. Anytime you can have cold ones with live sports, it's lovely. It's also been said that when Marycrest had The Pub, they used to hold pajama parties. Reference to No. 9 for why that shouldn't also be brought back.
-- No. 5 -- Cheap pizza: In the second halves of games, if all of the concession-stand pizza is not bought, large Papa John's pizzas are sold for $5 on a first-come, first-serve basis. That almost makes up for the $10 price of admission and $2 parking fee, the latter for if you want to be in the secured Marycrest lot and not on the streets south of Locust.
-- No. 4 -- Isaiah Thomas isn't around to mess it up: But, former Detroit Piston teammate John Salley is, although he looks like more of a figurehead than anything else. That's OK. It wasn't his idea to try and get 100 teams nationwide and dilute the talent and saturate the markets. Once the novelty of pro basketball wears off, what's left?
-- No. 3 -- The ABA ball is three colors: The novelty of seeing a red, white and blue ball wears off pretty fast, but if you need another reason, this is what I suggest. It turns out white is a terrible color for a basketball, as balls are now red, blue and some type of brownish black from scuffs and regular wear and tear.
-- No. 2 -- The basketball's pretty good ... ... when it's not being stopped every 20 seconds. There is some legitimate talent on a team that is fairly balanced 1 through 12. Lonnie Randolph and Danny Osby can light it up from downtown, and Osby in the open court is a highlight waiting to happen. Bobby Bienaimee, Corey Minnifield and Jason Faulkner are big inside threats. Glen Worley turns in double-doubles night in and night out.
And by the way, Bone, another reason to attend could be to hear the call of a basket for Bobby "You Know" Bienaimee, with an occasional addendum of "and he is us!"
-- No. 1 -- If you don't do it now, you might not get the chance: For two reasons.
After the turn of the year, the 'Hawks play just six of their final 18 games at home. That after playing six straight at home to start the season.
It's not cheap to take a team on the road 12 times in three months, and with an average attendance of less than 200, the RiverHawks may be a thing of the past. After all, only a handful of modern-day ABA teams have survived more than two seasons.
Dan Tomlin is the RiverHawks beat writer for The Dispatch and The Rock Island Argus. You can reach him at tomlin@qconline.com.
Plenty of reasons to watch the ’Hawks
After a month of taking in the American Basketball Association, I've witnessed the good, the bad and the ugly. Mixing them up, here are 10 reasons why you should go out and watch the Quad City RiverHawks.
-- No. 10 -- You're the scorekeeper! Not once this season has the scoreboard been correct for all 48 minutes of a game. In one of the games, the final score was 3 points off. Bring a pen and some paper and keep score. If they mess up, shout out the correct score. Several fans do. In fact, coaches have caught on, and stopped play to argue for points, even when they know the score's right. Hammond Rollers coach Kenny Battle argued for three more points in a four-point game for a couple of minutes before returning to his seat with, "Well, you gotta try." It was, indeed, a grand try.
-- No. 9 -- RiverHawkettes ... err, maybe not: The short-lived (5 games) career of the RiverHawks cheerleaders left a void in the last home game. Before the game, the referees had to walk to center court by themselves. Too bad, too, because the 'Hawkettes had just donned new uniforms with shiny belts the game before. And who's going to throw out the T-shirts and bags of potato chips (though those promotions were hit or miss most of the time)?
-- No. 8 -- Bone: He only goes by one name. The self-proclaimed "Voice of the RiverHawks" brings hilarious entertainment to a sometimes frustratingly slow game. It's the only game where you'll ever hear this on a long 3: "From somewhere near DeWitt, Iowa ..." or his infamous in-game chant of "DE-FENSE!! DE-FENSE!!"
-- No. 7 -- Lots of room to spread out: In half of the RiverHawks' games, there have been more points scored than fans in the stands. The Marycrest Activities Center bleachers give you the luxury of relaxing and not being confined to a traditional arena seat. There's never an obstructed view. Just don't sit behind anyone. It's easy.
-- No. 6 -- Above the Rim Club: The Pub came back to life as the Above the Rim Club, and offered domestic bottles for $2 on its first two nights (they’re now $3). That's OK though; it's still cheaper than The Mark. Anytime you can have cold ones with live sports, it's lovely. It's also been said that when Marycrest had The Pub, they used to hold pajama parties. Reference to No. 9 for why that shouldn't also be brought back.
-- No. 5 -- Cheap pizza: In the second halves of games, if all of the concession-stand pizza is not bought, large Papa John's pizzas are sold for $5 on a first-come, first-serve basis. That almost makes up for the $10 price of admission and $2 parking fee, the latter for if you want to be in the secured Marycrest lot and not on the streets south of Locust.
-- No. 4 -- Isaiah Thomas isn't around to mess it up: But, former Detroit Piston teammate John Salley is, although he looks like more of a figurehead than anything else. That's OK. It wasn't his idea to try and get 100 teams nationwide and dilute the talent and saturate the markets. Once the novelty of pro basketball wears off, what's left?
-- No. 3 -- The ABA ball is three colors: The novelty of seeing a red, white and blue ball wears off pretty fast, but if you need another reason, this is what I suggest. It turns out white is a terrible color for a basketball, as balls are now red, blue and some type of brownish black from scuffs and regular wear and tear.
-- No. 2 -- The basketball's pretty good ... ... when it's not being stopped every 20 seconds. There is some legitimate talent on a team that is fairly balanced 1 through 12. Lonnie Randolph and Danny Osby can light it up from downtown, and Osby in the open court is a highlight waiting to happen. Bobby Bienaimee, Corey Minnifield and Jason Faulkner are big inside threats. Glen Worley turns in double-doubles night in and night out.
And by the way, Bone, another reason to attend could be to hear the call of a basket for Bobby "You Know" Bienaimee, with an occasional addendum of "and he is us!"
-- No. 1 -- If you don't do it now, you might not get the chance: For two reasons.
After the turn of the year, the 'Hawks play just six of their final 18 games at home. That after playing six straight at home to start the season.
It's not cheap to take a team on the road 12 times in three months, and with an average attendance of less than 200, the RiverHawks may be a thing of the past. After all, only a handful of modern-day ABA teams have survived more than two seasons.
Dan Tomlin is the RiverHawks beat writer for The Dispatch and The Rock Island Argus. You can reach him at tomlin@qconline.com.